Heroic delusions of why I care & why I’m such a moralfag….

As a self proclaimed moral fag, I often get asked “why do I care?” when throwing my support or activism behind a movement. Whether, that be a Free Palestine, Government Transparency or the Tampon tax and if 100% honest I’m not sure I know why. The answer to this question is never a constant, I find it changing day to day. However, when trying to answer why I care, it always leads me to a different question: “why should I care?” Now some of you may be reading this and thinking “well that’s the same question?” But its not. Adding one simple word to the question, changes it drastically from being an unknowable question, to a self answering one. reminding me that even the smallest things still make a difference. By placing the modal verb ‘should’ it implies an obligation. This implication of duty allows me to evaluate why I ‘should‘ care and that’s simply is because I do care. I care no matter what the reasons and therefore why I should be caring is to bring around the change to the things I care about. I may have no straight answer to why I care but I know why I should, I should care to make things  better and to therefore become better in the process. I cant simply shut off and not give a shit as then there’s a chance the causes I care for will crumble. Although, this may seem egotistical assuming that particular movements will crumble with out my support or some causes will cease to exist without my voice but this is not just applicable me its to all of us. We should care if we want to bring about change and if none of us cared the cause we have chosen to fight for would not exist. One of my favorite quotes states: “The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don’t do anything about it.” I believe this to be true and despite what cynics say caring alone is an action and a single action is still better than none at all.

I often struggle in real life, I’ve become quite cold and have begun to Isolate myself away from friends and family. I am Constantly wearing a mask in public these days as my true face is nothing but rage with all of our worlds problems. Some Could argue that Ive begun to care to much (If such a thing), or that I’ve become  deluded  in my own idealism, another question Ive began to ask myself a lot. I try my best to ground myself, my biggest fear becoming one of the tyrants or extremists I hate so much. So I focus on trying to fix issues come up with theories of philosophies to solve problems that probably can never be fixed. A frustrating path I’ve begun to walk down, but like an addict I’m compelled to carry on despite the harm it may cause to myself or those around me. Maybe it’s become a burden, but its one I’m happy to carry and one that I must. Not because some self importance or nobility but rather  out of some estranged, Deontological duty that has become engrained into my ego. Only the Ignorant don’t care, as only an ignorant mind would not want a better future. I think that’s why people like myself look to the future, because living in the presence is just too painful.

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